I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
