you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
