If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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