with your own penis?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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