Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
