just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
