awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you didnt know i had herpes?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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