watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
