the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
