erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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