just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
