and you said cock pushups were impossible
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
