Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
