Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
