i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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