he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
