I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
