i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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