Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm just crazy horny about you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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