seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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