New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
