I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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