My balls are so social today.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I believe in your delicious
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
