he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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