so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
