grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
