he shaved USA in his pubs
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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