Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
