You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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