Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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