they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
