ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This is classic penis vs brain.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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