i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
