no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Are we still banned from the library?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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