I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
