my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
