Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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