Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
