he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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