just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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