We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
