epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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