dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just threw up on my dentist
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
