remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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