It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This is the high leading the old right now
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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