I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
