why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
