So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
