Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Randomize
