Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
