Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
