You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
