It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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