you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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