There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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