dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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