How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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