just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
