It's Friday. Sex?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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