it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize