dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That's intense
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
