I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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