But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize