Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
