Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
