So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
