so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I still have a little drunk in my system
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Floor bacon is actually really good
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
