is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
