but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize