Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
