Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
