Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
