Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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