you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
