whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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