I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
