Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
