with your own penis?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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