The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
