when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
